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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23605006">i'm fine. just go away</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/seonghwazz/pseuds/seonghwazz'>seonghwazz</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Seongjoong :) [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>ATEEZ (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Hearing Voices, How Do I Tag, Light Angst, M/M, Weight Issues, hongjoong offers to help seonghwa, kpop industry, seonghwa doesn't want help</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-03 01:49:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>758</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23605006</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/seonghwazz/pseuds/seonghwazz</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“i swear, hongjoong. just leave me alone.”</p><p>“okay then hwa. don’t forget that i’m just a few doors down.”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Seongjoong :) [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1837693</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>72</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i'm fine. just go away</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">“i swear, hongjoong. just leave me alone.”</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">“okay then hwa. don’t forget that i’m just a few doors down.”</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">seonghwa listened attentively to hongjoong’s footsteps. hongjoong was padding softly down the hall, away from seonghwa.</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">part of him felt wrong for sending him away, but part of him was glad to see the back of him.</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">“he’s just here to ruin you! don’t listen to him, seonghwa”, a voice hissed in his mind.</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">nobody would actually genuinely care for him. all of his atiny would move on from ateez sooner or later, and make their mark on this world.</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">nobody would ever love seonghwa. he was just another idol in the industry. sure, atinys always said that they wanted to date him, but wouldn’t they all move on sometime?</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">seonghwa thought that he had previously reached his life’s lowest point, a certain period of time during his trainee days.</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>“seonghwa, you’re getting kind of fat these days.”</em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>seonghwa had looked down at this stomach, which looked the same as it had been two months ago. </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>“try dieting more.”</em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>seonghwa wanted to scream at his manager. he was dieting, for fucks sake. he had been dieting for two years now. he worked out every single day.</em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>he had returned to the dorms that night with a scale and carb shakes. hongjoong had concern and worry laced in is eyes as he eyed his purchases, but he said nothing.</em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>for dinner that night, seonghwa had a shake. that was it.</em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>the cycle repeated itself for a good month:</em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>he would get up, go to the studio to train, get criticised by his manager, cry in the bathroom, work out, cry some more, and go home.</em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>while everyone else had chicken breast and lettuce, seonghwa had a protein shake.</em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>every single time hongjoong asked if he was hungry, he would just say that he had eaten already.</em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>it wasn’t until one faithful day in the practice room did hongjoong understand the true depth of the situation. </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>normally, their manager sent everyone but seonghwa away after a day of training, in order to make the eldest feel better. spare the shame, you know?</em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>but today, he kept hongjoong in the practice room.</em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>seonghwa felt his heart rate increase. was hongjoong here to get scolded too because he was the leader? was their manager thinking that hongjoong was the one who was letting him “slack off”?</em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>“look”, their manager had said, gesturing to hongjoong. “this is the perfect body that you should aspire to become, seonghwa.”</em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>oh. so this was why hongjoong was told to stay. just to get compared with him. he could feel the tears stinging in his eyes, but he refused to let them fall. not with hongjoong and their manager in the room; the latter would just call him weak.</em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>hongjoong had blushed a little when their manager told him to take his shirt off, but complied nonetheless. he removed his sweat-soaked t-shirt, revealing his toned abs underneath.</em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>the shirt curled into a ball, just like seonghwa’s hopes that hongjoong had given up on his daily gym routine.</em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>“take off your shirt, seonghwa.”</em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>he hesitated for a second, but when hongjoong gave him a warm smile, he couldn’t resist anymore.</em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>with shaky hands( from lack of food and exhaustion), seonghwa had removed his shirt. his abs were barely visible, but his ribs were poking through his skin.</em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>seonghwa then proceeded to faint from the stress of it all. </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>he woke up in a hospital room, and was severely scolded by the nutritionist. “you need to eat more, boy; you’re severely malnourished. balance your diet with exercise.”</em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>he remembered how he had cried in hongjoong’s arms, sobbing his eyes out. “i just did what i was told to do”, he whispered.</em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>hongjoong gave him a squeeze. “look, hwa. i don’t know what manager-nim said, but please don’t take it personally. before you came, i was the subject to his daily criticism”, he said darkly.</em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>“but! i ate more, and just burned everything off at the gym. i swear, hwa, it’ll get better.”</em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>he had slept better that night then he had for a whole month.</em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">the last time he shut hongjoong out, everything had ended in a hospital room. maybe he should talk to him.</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">shutting people out isn’t the answer to everything.no, it’s <em>never</em> the answer.</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">seonghwa felt himself roll gently off the bed, and pushed his bedroom door open. he walked down the hall, and knocked quietly on hongjoong's door.</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">“hongjoong? i need to talk to you.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I hope that you all enjoyed this tiny one-shot! Please leave me some feedback as I really want to improve my writing style. Thank you!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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